This is the first song "Keep It To Yourself", as with a lot of the songs I write it has a couple different subjects blended together by an overall theme. The first verse references both my own past experiences of using people that cared about me during my drug and alcohol addiction and an experience I have shared (or continue to share) with a woman I love(d). There is so much guilt and shame in addiction and it creates an unstoppable cycle of seeking a way to numb that feeling by using people which in turn creates more guilt and shame. We start to lie to everyone so much we begin to live a double life like some kind of secret agents of intoxication. It seems like all we can do is age and repeat the same mistakes over and over until there is nothing left of what our loved ones saw in us and they are forced to cut us off or walk away (easier said than done in most cases). Eventually we lie so much to everyone (including ourselves) that we stop being able to differentiate the truth anymore. The chorus references an old Mangina song I wrote in high school where I said "I can't close my eyes", basically meaning I haven't grown at all mentally because of my battle with addiction. It also references another Mangina song called "Poison" that was about alcohol and the grain of salt line refers to the antidote, or abstinence. I often drank and used to quiet my mind as I have always been an over thinker. The second verse is about social media, politics, ignorance and bigotry. We live in an age where we have so much misinformation and thinly veiled hate shoved down our throats in order to keep us living in a perpetual state of fear. Fear keeps us subservient to the status quo and from fully experiencing the true joy of life and we shouldn't have to take it anymore and buy into it. Life is beautiful, most of humankind is full of love and tolerance and we can't allow a few bad apples to ruin the whole bunch as they say. Keep all the hate, the lies, the darkness and manipulation to yourself and share the good, the light, the love and joy to make this world brighter. Everyone feels pain, sadness and darkness. Everyone experiences temptation, battles demons and wrestles with good vs evil on a daily basis. What's important is that we keep those lies and impurities to ourselves lest we become part of the problem.
lyrics
It's never ending, just get better at pretending but the things once worth defending turned to dust
Now more divided, used up all that was provided and now everyone relied upon lost trust
Keep getting older, never learn from my mistakes
Just seek forgiveness once there's nothing left to take
Now there's nothing left to take
Nothing left for you to take away
Now there's nothing left to take
Nothing left for you to take away
chorus
I'm pretending I've been hypnotized
I'm dumbing down for my disguise
Still wish that I could close my eyes
And take my poison with a grain of salt
Hate's going viral, there's no plausible denial we're undoing the survival of the smart
Ignorance breeding yet elitists keep on leading, it's a system they've been cheating from the start
We buy their lies to pay for bombs and acts of war
Force-fed false truth til we can't take it anymore
I can't take it anymore
Shouldn't take it anymore from them
Not gonna take it anymore
Shouldn't take it anymore from them
chorus
I'm pretending I've been hypnotized
I'm dumbing down for my disguise
Still wish that I could close my eyes
And take my poison with a grain of salt
Keep lying to yourself, just keep it to yourself
Keep lying to yourself, just keep it to yourself
Not gonna take it anymore
Shouldn't take it anymore from them
Not gonna take it anymore
Shouldn't take it anymore from them
chorus
I'm pretending I've been hypnotized
I'm dumbing down for my disguise
Still wish that I could close my eyes
And take my poison with a grain of salt
supported by 4 fans who also own “Keep It To Yourself”
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