We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Nightmares Come True

from Self​-​Titled by Rebel Radio

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $1 USD  or more

     

about

I have been a long time sufferer of nightmares, night terrors, lucid dreams, etc. For a long time, part of the allure of alcohol and drugs was the fact that I would rarely enter true delta wave sleep to produce these dreams and when I did I would seldom remember having them at all. Getting sober caused them to come flooding back and for some time I had a very difficult time adjusting and getting a decent night's sleep. Most of the time these nightmares would be about drinking and using, feelings of complete powerlessness and drowning or getting lost in large bodies of water or floods. I often to this day wake up more exhausted and in the grip of a sheer panic or sense of irrational impending doom and it takes me a good hour to regain a grasp on reality. Much of this song deals with a woman I love very much whom I have had to watch first hand go through her own battles with addiction and the feeling of utter powerlessness and hopelessness I felt while trying to help save her without putting my own sobriety in jeopardy, which ultimately happened for a moment along with a few bouts of major depression and suicidal thoughts/actions. There are parts of the verses that reference specific moments I had with her as well as some parts of recurring dreams, almost as if the line between reality and nightmare was so blurred it became indistinguishable. As a recovering addict, it becomes increasingly, painfully obvious when someone is displaying dangerous behaviors and tendencies while keeping in mind that nothing you can say or do will change anything about that person. The only one who has the ability to control or change an addict is the addict themselves. The only way I've experienced or seen that work is through faith in something more powerful than yourself, hard work, tears and utter hopelessness. Sometimes reality can truly be like a living nightmare, no one knows this quite as well as an addict/alcoholic. The verse about storms and flooding references a recurring nightmare I have about water. Water nightmares generally tie into a subconscious feeling of the forces of life being too hard to control or forcing change upon the dreamer, which I understand all too well having run from life for the past 20 years through drugs and alcohol. Sometimes you just seem to wake up drowning in years of problems and unresolved feelings before you are willing to face anything at all. Codependence, inebriation and denial are the living nightmares I must now face after all these years, at least I don't have to face them alone!
Wish

lyrics

Wish I knew just what to do
Like every choice I make is wrong when it comes to me and you
Sometimes you're dead inside I know, I feel it too
Sitting watching all my nightmares as they come true

Try so hard, I'm getting nowhere
Give my all but you still don't care
I'm only close enough to watch you fall
Fifteen stories, climb the railing
Put your trust in structures failing
And watch you crumble to the ground with it all

chorus
It feels like everything is broken
Mind and body, heart and soul
Regrets and memories and nightmares take their toll
But without you I'm less than whole

There's so much left I wanna say
I'd give all my tomorrows for one more yesterday
Never felt closer while you're pushing me away
Helplessly watch you kill yourself so much to my dismay

Storm is coming, water rising
See you drowning, not surprising
Try to lift you up to higher ground
Holding on now we're both sinking
Keep on acting, never thinking
You'll be lost at sea but I'll have drowned

chorus
It feels like everything is broken
Mind and body, heart and soul
Regrets and memories and nightmares take their toll
But without you I'm less than whole

I can't sleep but I'm sleepwalking now
Fighting just to wake myself up somehow

chorus
It feels like everything is broken
Mind and body, heart and soul
Regrets and memories and nightmares take their toll
But without you I'm less than whole

credits

from Self​-​Titled, released April 26, 2016

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Rebel Radio Sacramento, California

contact / help

Contact Rebel Radio

Streaming and
Download help

Redeem code

Report this track or account

If you like Rebel Radio, you may also like: